If you are someone who, like me, is terrible with arguments, this is your go-to-guide to win any fight. Do you cry when you get mad? Me too. Do you shut down when you’re cornered? Also, me too. So I made this guide for you to win any fight and come out victorious because we all understand the tendency towards being competitive and wanting to win.

1- Validate the other person’s point of view: You’ll never get anywhere, and you certainly won't win if you’re gaslighting someone. So genuinely listen to the other person, validate their feelings and don’t patronize them for feeling the way they do. Never deny a person’s reality. They may be completely in the wrong, but they’re still a human being with emotions and you’ll never win if you’re not hearing them out.

2- Regulate your emotions. Avoid the waterworks: Crying is often a go-to response for some, especially for women, but what I tend to do when I get frustrated is; when I feel the tears coming on, I just take a few sips of water and a deep breath. That usually helps to dial back the tears. Not that there’s anything wrong with crying, I’m all for a good crying session, but sometimes crying isn’t the appropriate response in an argument especially when you want your argument to be heard. Try to stay calm and think logically rather than getting carried away with your emotions.

3- Always use facts: You want to know one of the many reasons people say that ‘women are always right’ and why men often lose to their wives in a fight? It's because women remember. If you say something mean over text, she can bring it up 2 weeks later and quote you on exactly what you said. Learn from the unbeatable memory of women and have all the facts ready before going into any confrontation: be it an emotional confrontation or intellectual one.

4- Ask open-ended questions: Don’t go in for the attack. Try to get to the root of the problem by asking questions, such as ‘How would you have liked me to say that better?’ or ‘What could I have done differently?’ At least by appearing curious about a solution, rather than going back and forth with accusations, it can calm the other person down…until you convince them they’re in the wrong.

5- Don’t appear defensive: Even if the person is in the wrong, try not to show that you’re being defensive and deflecting every comment thrown at you, otherwise you appear to lack awareness and humility.

And there you have it, your go-to on winning any argument. You’re welcome. Let the fighting commence..