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Are you settling for less in your relationship or is there something truly special that's just waiting to be uncovered? It's a tough question to ask, but sometimes digging into what your gut is telling you can lead to eye-opening revelations. Relationships as it is are pretty hard to navigate, adding in feelings of doubt and confusion are just a recipe for disaster if you don’t know what to look for. 

Understanding what "settling" means is crucial. Settling in a relationship is like ordering your favorite meal at a restaurant and receiving something that looks similar but lacks the flavor and satisfaction you were hoping for. It's about accepting less than what you truly desire and deserve, whether it's in terms of emotional support, compatibility, or shared values. 

Navigating relationships is already a challenging journey on its own, so adding feelings of doubt and confusion into the mix can make it feel like sailing through a storm without a compass. To cruise through this storm, the following tips break down those subtle signs that might indicate you're settling, helping you steer your relationship ship back on course towards fulfillment and happiness.

1. Fear of loneliness

Sometimes we all get a bit afraid of being lonely. Right from the beginning, we were people that were made to be in communion, but loneliness should not be the only reason to be in a relationship. People often get into the unconscious habit of going from one relationship to the other, just to feel complete, and without a relationship we just get lonely. Its important to realise that you can be in a marriage, and still be lonely, so if you find that you need a relationship to not be lonely, you’re actually not solving your emotional need and instead settling for less than what you deserve. 

2. No emotional Connection

When you’re in an invested, long-term relationship or you’re looking for a long-term relationship then emotional connection is part of the foundation of your relationship. If you find yourself or your partner lacking such a connection then that would mean you’re settling in your relationship.

3. Set Boundaries

When in a relationship important conversations like setting boundaries and talking about your deal breakers are incredibly important to ensure that you’re in it for the long haul. Having these conversations would help both partners understand their “do’s and don’ts”. Shying away or underestimating such conversations would be fatal.

4. Lack Of Support From Your Significant Other

Being in a healthy relationship doesn’t mean it’s one versus one, it’s meant to be US against the world. So when you do progress in your career and in other aspects of your life, your partner should be on your side cheering you on and vice versa. If you find that you’re being held back, being put down or if your partner is jealous of your success then that could be a definite sign that you’re settling for less than what you deserve and choosing someone who won’t push you to do better.

5. Trying To Change Him/Her

If you go into a relationship with expectations of changing your partner whether it be aspects of their personality or habits then that would be a flashing red flag. If your thought process is that “once we’re together they will change these parts of themselves” then that would be you settling.

6. Societal Pressures

Once you hit twenty, questions like “Oh are you seeing someone? It’s about time, don’t you think?” start coming your way and it doesn’t get any better. Twenty-five brings a whole new load with things like “You should get married now, lest you shrivel up” This is especially prevalent in Asian households. This kind of mindset can give birth to you saying yes to anything that comes your way without looking at compatibility, and all the other many factors that would make that partner right for you in marriage. 

In essence, relationships aren't meant to serve as mere placeholders in our lives. They're meant to be the main attraction, the pièce de résistance of our life's journey. So, if you find yourself questioning whether you're settling or soaring, trust your instincts. Don't shy away from those uncomfortable conversations. Remember, your happiness and fulfillment are non-negotiables. So muster up the courage, take a deep breath, and steer your relationship towards the shores of genuine contentment. After all, you deserve nothing less.