A letter to those who have suffered from Covid

It’s funny how a simple test can change your life forever.

A pregnancy positive test signals life and hope.

A PCR positive test signals sickness and potential death.

Here at The Daily Deck - we usually like to talk about the fun and the lighthearted stuff: babies, motherhood, TV, memes, pop culture, any and everything . . . we love to look at the humor in a dry world. But sometimes, you just can’t. Sometimes there isn’t anything funny when a global pandemic hits a bit too close to home.

This is a difficult letter for me to write to the world. But it is absolutely necessary. Because once upon a time, not too long ago, I thought I was invincible. I had come in contact with so many people who ended up getting Covid and yet, somehow, I kept emerging unscathed. I thought I was basically immune to the virus. Surely if I could have so many close calls and still not get Covid, my immune system must be working miracles for me. And then one day my baby niece got a fever, and my brother-in-law had the flu and a runny nose...and suddenly, it was game over for me.

I was just days away from travelling back home after being stranded in India for more than half the year, due to annoying travel bans...and then I got Covid. And finally, this incredibly naive picture of being so immune to the virus just shattered. I was unable to move much, I was dizzy as hell, I lost my taste and smell and I knew that I had it. Worse than that, I passed on the virus to my 60+-year-old, sick parents and had to watch them suffer and there was nothing I could do about it.

It’s a lonely pain. A quiet, but loud internal screaming when you find out you’ve become another statistic in the World Health Organization.

All of a sudden, the years of good health, strong lungs, senses of smell and taste that were taken for granted..were now something I longed for. It was the longest and most nerve-wracking two weeks of my life. Will I lose my parents? Will I lose my sister who was being hospitalized? Will my lungs ever be fully normal? Will my baby niece be okay? Will I ever get back home?

I understand the fear. I understand the anger at God or whoever it is you believe in. I understand the isolation you’ve endured. I understand that you may even feel dirty because you’ve been “infected”.

And no one tells you the anxiety you face afterwards, even once you’re better, you struggle to adjust and feel like you can’t face society with the same bravery. You’re hyper-aware of how many times you’ve sanitized, large gatherings may cause anxiety. You may get panicky when someone gives you an affectionate touch or handshake. I know, I’ve been through all of it. I still feel the creeping fear at every social gathering, 4 weeks after recovering from Covid.

I understand the lonely separation if you’ve had to quarantine from friends and family for 2 weeks. I understand you don’t want people to know you’ve had Covid because they may pity you. All I feel whenever I think of myself getting Covid is shame and anger. But testing positive doesn’t make you dirty. You deserve to be hugged. You deserve to live without worrying about closeness, and social distancing. You’re not meant to live in constant fear and face the stress of leaving your house.

If you’ve never healed, physically, mentally, or emotionally from Covid or if you’re currently going through Covid we stand with you. We pray with you. And we hope you find people that don’t emotionally abandon you during this difficult time.

If you’ve ever lost a loved one to Covid, we stand with you. We tribute you for hailing forward in a time of death, disease, and prolonged world suffering.

If you are struggling with Covid in any way whether it’s you or someone you know who’s suffering, please email mail@daily-deck.com, and someone from the Daily Deck team will reach out to talk to you so you never feel like you have to suffer alone.