In all my life I’ve always been known as the overthinker, the hyper anxious one, the one with a lot more thoughts, feelings, and dreams than I could handle.
My mind has always been a web of endless thoughts, and when I entered into my first ever serious relationship I became aware of just how much I overthought everything. If my partner wouldn’t text me for 2 hours, I would overthink that he’s bored of me, if my partner replied in one-word answers I would think he’s mad at me…and the cycle never ends. Being an anxiously attached overthinker has been a long and exhausting ride, but when you’re surrounded by the right people who can recognize your overthinking tendencies, love you inspite of it and walk with you to calm your anxieties and negative thoughts it makes all the difference in the world.The problem with overthinking is that it kind of steals your peace of mind and doesn’t allow you to fully experience or enjoy your relationships or your life because your mind is always telling you things that may not be true. So here are some of my tried and tested tips from one overthinker to another:
1.Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment, without judgment. This could look like simply paying attention to your thoughts as they arise so that you learn to observe them without getting caught up in them.
2. Set Time Limits for Decision-Making: Overthinkers often spend too much time analyzing every possible outcome before making a decision. To break this habit, try setting a time limit for yourself when faced with a decision. Give yourself a reasonable amount of time to weigh the pros and cons, make a decision, and then move forward without looking back.
3. Challenge your Negative Thoughts: Overthinking is often fueled by negative thoughts and self-doubt. When you catch yourself spiraling into negative thinking patterns, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself if they are really true or if there is another, more positive perspective to consider, and then replace those negative thoughts with affirmations.
4. Practice Self-Compassion: Overthinkers can often be their own worst critics, constantly berating themselves for any perceived mistakes or shortcomings, even when something happens that's completely out of their control. Practice having the same grace and kindness to yourself that you would offer to a friend in the same situations.
5. Monitor what information you consume and be aware of its impact: The media can bombard us with information overload that sometimes it can be hard to just enjoy the present because there always seems to be something out there telling you something about your life. Social media, especially, can steal your peace by making you feel like you aren’t enough and there’s so much information out there that would cause an overthinker to spiral out of control. So use media responsibly, and be aware that if you’re overthinking things at times, it could be because you’re getting information from sources that can’t be trusted.
6. Have outlets for overthinking: Sometimes you may feel like you need to feel your feelings and overthink your thoughts. Sometimes you may just want to think of thousands of scenarios to solve a problem, and although this article is a guide to help you stop overthinking, sometimes we all need to rant about what it is we’re thinking about to ourselves. It’s only once we let everything out, that we can start to finally make sense of all the muddle that's in our head. So it's important to let it out at times, whether its through journaling, talking it out with a trusted friend, or recording yourself talking but not sending it to anyone, have your outlet but don’t stay in the place of overthinking. Think your thoughts and then try to have peace of mind by using calming techniques.
With that being said, overthinking is not something to be ashamed about, it’s better to overthink things and decisions than to underthink things and to act rashly and regret it later. However, when you start to feel like overthinking could be stealing your peace of mind, that’s when you know that there are things you could be doing to overcome it. It is possible to be an overthinker and yet be a good partner, it's possible to be an overthinker and be a good friend, but it's also possible to be an overthinker and overcome it.
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