(Image Credit: Ivashstudio/Shutterstock)
Attraction. The thing that can cause sparks to fly, or sparks to fizzle out, the thing that cause instant chemistry, and the thing that makes and breaks so many relationships. So let’s talk about it.
Our world is far more shallow than it needs to be. From the size of your waist to the size of your thigh gap, to the size of yourself, there are way too many things that define attraction. If you’re lucky, you meet your person, you’re insanely attracted to each other and everything works in your favor to let you live happily ever after (in theory). But sometimes you may end up in a tricky situation where you find yourself extremely compatible with someone, but the element of physical attraction is missing, and if you’re in that unfortunate situation, I have to say with all due respect: so what?
You may have heard from others that attraction is temporary, and that over time it fades with long-term relationships, but those are things we all know, and I’m not here to talk about that - valid of a point, though it may be.
I’m here to tell you that although physical attraction is great, it can change in a minute. It can change for a few minutes if you haven’t taken a shower, it can change if you’ve put on a few extra pounds or lost a few pounds, and it’s something that can not only just change over time, it can occasionally change within minutes of being together. It constantly comes and goes.
It’s up to people to make themselves attractive. And i’m not just talking about with their looks, please don’t get me wrong. I’m in no way saying it’s all up to you to make yourselves physically attractive by dolling yourself up, or fitting in the media ideal of attractiveness, not at all. Although self grooming and work is required to look presentable, I’m not talking just about physical appearance. In my experience, there are so many non-physical aspects, and actions that can make someone the most attractive person in the room, even if they wouldn’t be considered the most physically attractive based on appearance alone.
Speaking from my own experience; I’ve found guys who present themselves well the most attractive. Things like charisma, good hygiene, flirtatiousness and spontaneity can be attractive. So even if you’re not currently attracted to your partner, and he/she is not aware of that, first; you should make them aware of it. They have a right to know the way you feel, especially if it's a serious relationship because attraction can be a big thing for so many people. But all I’m saying is there are plenty of techniques to try and create attraction.
Now let's move on from physical attraction and talk about something more important: emotional attraction. “Emotional attraction occurs when someone finds appeal in another's mind, personality, heart, or spirit” (Choosing Therapy).
Emotional attraction is also about being in tune with someone’s emotions, being emotionally intelligent to each other’s needs, and being able to find their heart the most attractive quality about them. That to me, is the most important thing in any relationship.
You will very rarely in life find one person who has every single thing on your checklist. For example, if we reverse the scenario, and you find someone you’re super attracted to, someone you connect with on a deep level, and someone who really makes you laugh, but that person doesn’t want kids, it doesn’t necessarily mean that person is wrong for you. It just means that no one person can live up to all your checklist items. Its just up to you to figure out what you can and can't live with. Considering how fleeting looks are, I believe its something that shouldn’t make or break a relationship. But of course, this isn’t for everyone.
I am lucky in the sense where I have personally found the man I plan on spending the rest of my life with, who is insanely handsome, and both emotionally and physically attractive to me. But for some that don’t have this luxury, I would encourage you to really think about whether you can see this person being with you for the rest of your life, and if you can then maybe the physical attraction bit doesn’t matter.
But it goes without saying that this is all dependent on what kind of person you are, and what your preferences might be. If you’re the kind of person who needs to be attracted to someone, especially as a man, then maybe you don’t need to settle for less than what you really want.
We all agree that beauty is within, so my challenge is - will you let beauty be the thing that breaks your almost-perfect relationship? Or will you allow yourself to let inner beauty be the thing that binds you to the person who will bring you the most happiness, love, and promise for your future?
Comments