If you’re someone who, like me, you’ve been intimidated by the expectations placed on women in households then you’ll probably relate to what I’m about to say.
To be a “Godly woman” is an aspiration that many Christian women are trying to achieve, and personally when I heard of this term I automatically connected it with being a traditional wife, homemaker and slave to her husband’s needs. I struggled with the stereotypical ideas of women being in the kitchen all the time, made to service their husbands and children whilst having no identity of their own. But as time went on and I really began to consider what it means to be a “Godly” and “feminine” woman my ideas changed and I felt oddly liberated by womanhood and no longer oppressed by it.
If we scroll on Instagram, chances are we’ll see reel after reel of women cooking these elaborate meals for their husband and we may be intimidated by influencers like Nara Smith who can pretty much make water from scratch at this point.
If you’re like me, you may find Nara Smith intimidating and somewhat unrealistic even - I mean how does a 23 year old know how to cook such fancy meals, while being a mother of 3 and running an Instagram empire? I myself can barely cook rice without overcooking or undercooking it..my inner thoughts would say. “Is this what the Bible expects me to be? A woman who dresses perfectly, cooks delectable foods from scratch and seems to balance it all?” The short answer is no.
God himself, is not a God who expects perfection, and women aren’t automatically expected to have all the answers.
If we look closely at what it means to be "Godly," it’s clear that its more about the condition of the heart rather than about following a list of domestic chores.
You don’t need to have it all figured out
The Bible speaks a lot about character—things like kindness, humility, love, and service—but it doesn’t explicitly say that being a woman of faith requires you to be an amazing cook or to handle every household responsibility. Proverbs 31 is often used as the blueprint for a virtuous woman, but even there, the emphasis is on her diligence, strength, and wisdom, not just her ability to cook or clean. She works hard and provides for her family, but that looks different for everyone. Now don’t hear what I’m not saying, God doesn’t expect women to have everything together - your house isn’t going to be 100% tidy all the time, your food isn’t going to be a 10/10 every time, but there are certain roles that women are encouraged by God to take and we need to be careful that we don’t lean too far towards the anti trad-wife side so that our theology on gender roles becomes tainted.
Let’s look at the verse a bit more closely “She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.” (Proverbs 31, 14-15) So although we’re not expected to be the most amazing cooks, we are however, expected to do things well and to do them unto the Lord. All throughout the Bible, women were intended to create life, nurture others and build their homes, but the Proverbs 31 verse also talks about women as workers, so having a career is okay and being a woman who keeps herself busy is encouraged.
Ultimately, what truly defines a Godly woman is her relationship with God and her dedication to following His will in her life. You could be the most feminine woman but if you lack the love and fear of God then unfortunately you’re falling short of being a Godly woman, and thats not to discourage you but to encourage you to seek God first and the rest of your femininity will fall into place.
Embrace Your Unique Calling
Being a Godly woman might look different for you than it does for others. Some women find joy in cooking and taking care of their homes, while others may feel called to serve in different ways—through work, ministry, leadership, or education. And that’s okay! God’s calling for each of us is unique.
The important thing is to follow the purpose that God has for you and to serve those around you with love and humility. Whether you’re preparing meals or running a business, the essence of being a Godly woman is found in your devotion to God and your care for others, not meeting outdated standards that don’t reflect the true roles that God has for women.
So, to answer the question posed in this article..no, being a Godly woman doesn’t have to mean cooking or being incredibly domestic if thats not your strength, but we as women, do need to live in obedience to the. It means living in alignment with God's will for your life, understanding what your calling is as a woman and being obedient to what God has called us women to be. Use your gifts to serve others in whatever way you are called, and embodying the fruits of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, and kindness—in every role you play.