Thea Skelton is a UK native, based in Dubai for the past 14 years. She is a festival director and one of the most impactful female leaders in the events industry. Thea is an avid reader passionate about her family, her dogs, travel and history. She is also Suzie Hart’s boss at her day job. Suzie had the privilege of sitting with Thea for this podcast to chat about the makings of female leadership in a bustling city and male-dominated industry.
Suzie: Before diving in, tell us a little about yourself.
Thea: I'm originally from the UK from the South, a city called Brighton. I worked in London for about 10 years before coming out to Dubai and as like most people, I thought I'd be here for a couple of years and now 14 years later I'm still here. That's mostly because I found that there's been a lot of opportunity here and I've had some amazing experiences whilst I've been here.
I guess what I really enjoy is, I studied ancient history at uni, so I really love learning about history, especially the ancient Greeks and the Romans. I love going to Greece and looking at the ancient sites and to Italy as well. And so I travel, and I think that's something I love about being in Dubai, is that we're kind of stepping stones to the rest of the world.
Suzie: So how long have you been in the events industry and what made you choose this field?
Thea: Wow, so I was thinking about this earlier and I think I'm almost 20 years in the events industry. To be honest, when I was younger I always wanted to be an archaeologist or I wanted to be a journalist for a while. Archaeology didn't fit quite right for me because it's really, really scientific, whereas I preferred the kind of understanding of history through literature, so I decided not to go down that route. I then ended up in Journalism, getting some work experience at Women's magazine and it completely put me off.
Then my first job out of uni I worked at an event agency as a kind of PA so I did that for a year as a production assistant and by the time I left and then I thought “Oh no I just want to travel so much.”Then I came back and I got a temp job at The Guardian newspaper, which is Guardian News media. And after a while, they put me on the events team because they had quite a big sponsorship and events team. And that was when I started thinking I really liked working in events. The thing I love about events is that you work across so many different industries all the time. One day you could be working at a Glass Festival, the next day you could be running a current affairs debate at a political conference and so I feel like that was when my kind of understanding and passion for events really set in.
Suzie: One of the things I really want to talk about today is energy and how that actually plays into leadership. Usually, if you observe leaders, they tend to have charisma or energy that people are drawn to, and that they listen to. I have seen from my experience, as you're networking with people or talking to clients, people are quite drawn to you. So the energy and authority that you have, is that something that you think you've always had or did it build up over time?
Thea: I think in terms of being a commanding presence and coming across as having that kind of authority and energy, I would say I haven't always had that. But I think if you are passionate about what you do and you have a very good understanding of the project you're working on, I think that gives you that energy, and I think it gives you that presence because you're really talking about something that you're passionate about.
When you go into a room full of people you don't know, as long as you know what you're talking about, that gives you confidence, because you've got something that you know they're interested in. So if I'm going in to see somebody I've never met before, a new company, I will make sure I really understand exactly what I'm gonna talk to them about. I will also research their company so I can ask some questions about it as well.
Suzie: Being in a room full of men can be kind of intimidating for many, but what gives you confidence in those situations?
Thea: I understand that it's intimidating, I get intimidated not just going into a room full of men, but going into a room full of people. You have to understand that you've got every right to be there as much as they have. I might not be the loudest person in the room and I might not be the person talking the most in the room, but I have just as much right to be there. My inner confidence is based on the reasoning for me to be there, and I have a right to be there. I have information that they want to hear about, because otherwise, why would I be in the room?
Suzie: So, you're, you're based in the Middle East and you have a very high stress job working in events. How has that experience been for you as a female leader working in high stress environments and having to be on-the-go a lot of the time?
Thea: It can be stressful, but I think that you have to keep things in perspective. I think that's really important. There are definitely days that I feel stressed and a bit intimidated by everything I have to do, but I think you need to just keep things in perspective. It's important to have a life away from work. I think that was something I was bad at doing when I was younger. I’d constantly be switched onto it at the weekends, in the evenings in my downtime and having it.
I feel like if you have it on your mind all the time, you are actually making yourself stressed for no reason because you are overthinking. This is what I used to do: overthink, overthink, overthink, and then I feel more stressed the next day when actually if I can take a bit of time out, I can come to it fresh the next day. The way I think about something will be much more in perspective because I haven't been overthinking, and I think it's really important to do that.
I don't know if this is the case, but it is my thought that women tend to be people pleasers more. So I think that personally, I always want to make sure that everyone is comfortable and that everyone is happy. And that's very good actually from an events perspective because it means that I always put my all into making sure that all of our clients are as happy as they can be, but you can't control other people's feelings. And I think sometimes, you know, if I'm in a room and some people are unhappy and some people are happy, I can't control how everyone feels about some things. So I have to take a step back as well. I think that's another important lesson that I've learned as I've gotten older.
Suzie: So, how do you handle criticism and compartmentalize and move forward.
Thea: I think that if somebody has criticism then you know it's valid because that's how they've seen something. So I'll always listen and try to work on a solution to make things better. I would never just say, “Oh, well that's their problem, really.” I will always try and listen and engage with what criticism they have.
The other very, very important part of this, and I think this is something I have managed to do even when I was very young in my career, is understand that there's a difference between the professional and the personal. So if somebody is criticizing something, that's absolutely fine. They have every right to do that about work, and I will accept that even if they've gotten upset and angry. I will see it as very much a professional issue and I will leave that at the door and not be personally upset by it because it's two different parts of life. I think that as long as people treat each other with respect, that's okay. I'm quite good at defining and recognizing what's professional and what's personal.
Suzie: In your experience, you've said that you've found it hard to draw the balance between work-life. Being a festival director is not a 9-5 job, so how do you kind of draw that balance between work life and keep up with your mental health in the midst of busy seasons?
Thea: I think that, I know that when we are a few months out from an event like this is the job that I've chosen to do, it is gonna be all encompassing. I make allowances in my life for that because I know if I go to bed and I feel like I haven't finished my to-do list that day, I'm just going to spend all night worrying about it. So I would prefer to do the job and work long hours, because that's the nature of events. But knowing that post-event there will be down time. So I think it's about scheduling in advance, those busy periods in and kind of mentally recognizing that's gonna be a stressful time for me.
I need to make sure that I'm eating properly. I used to do this thing that I never used to eat at events, which was ridiculous because then I was running on adrenaline only and actually no energy. So I've completely changed the way that I look at it, try and still exercise because exercise is so good if you are feeling stressed, having an hour out just exercising. It is so good at releasing any stress that you might have. So I think that's really important.
I think also just telling family and friends, “Look, I've got this period of time that I'm not gonna be as available.” All my friends know not to bother messaging me and asking me to do anything in February because they know that I'm going to be busy and I don't wanna feel pulled between them and my job. But, after the event, I make sure it's really important to have time out. A few weeks after, I always try and schedule a holiday because that's my downtime away from it, and then it's my reintroduction to the world.
Suzie: Would you consider yourself a more emotional or logical person?
Thea: I think I'm quite an emotional person in my personal life, but I would say when it comes to work, I'm quite good at seeing things logically as well, because you have to. Again, it's like putting yourself in that professional mode and saying, “Right, I might feel this way about something”, but actually looking at the data or whatever and saying, this is the direction I'm going to go and it's different from the emotional direction that I potentially want to go down. So I think it's really important to, again, separate the professional from the personal.
Suzie: I think that’s so interesting because there is this misconception that women can’t lead because they are emotional, but you have found a way to lead logically, but also use your emotions as a strength. So, have you ever struggled with confidence in the professional space or has it been something that is quite natural for you? Thea: Yeah, I definitely have struggled with confidence, but I think that there's that whole thing, as long as you seem confident that reassures others. I think it's quite important sometimes that you have to just like, put that mask on almost. Inside you might be struggling, but as long as on the outside you are coming across as being confident, generally that reassures others and they feel confident in you, and then you actually do begin to feel a bit more confident in yourself. I think the other really important part of this is something that I've just kind of learned with age, is to not worry so much about what other people think about you.
Suzie: What would be your advice to young women who are starting off in their careers?
Thea: I think it's just important to understand that however well kind of educated you are, however many degrees you have, if there's a specific career that you want to go into, you are gonna have to work from the bottom up. It does take time and that's not just based on how good you are when you first go in. It's taking you to build through your career and that kind of experience is really important if you want to then develop your career into a more senior role. So I would say you should understand that it is going to take a bit of time. This isn't just about women, it's about men as well. Like it is going to take time. But that time is important because it helps you build your skillset, it helps you build your experience and it also helps you build your confidence as well.
You might not be the loudest person in the room and that's really fine. I do go to meetings where I see men are drowning out women because they're talking louder. They're coming across maybe as more confident but understanding that, okay, you might be the quiet person in the room. I certainly have been, but that's okay. All of us have something to contribute. So we shouldn't feel we need to be something different from who we are. We have a right to be there, and we should be confident in that as well.
To listen to the entire podcast, click the links below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmWlWhDDca0&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=TheDailyDeck https://open.spotify.com/episode/3J2btiZ7Lt29kCPnCMDtWb?si=vl1ZyGQlRq6DuqKpHx_cCA
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