Have you ever found your colleagues to be incredibly annoying sometimes? Do you ever want to say something like ‘Stop emailing me constantly’ ‘Read my emails properly’ or even ‘Respond to my emails, but you find yourself not wanting to sound rude?
As someone who’s often thrown shade at people via email, I am guilty of getting so frustrated with people that I indirectly insult them for wasting my time. #SorryNotSorry
Here’s an example of a petty way I threw shade at a customer recently:
I work in a company where we have cross-agency competitions so companies often want to find out if their entry has made it to the shortlist, so I asked our website team to upload the shortlist announcement dates on the website so that people know when to expect their results. However the dates weren’t listed on the top of the page, you’d have to scroll down a bit to find them. So I got an email from a customer asking about the shortlist announcement dates, so I provided the person with the webpage link and told her she could find all the dates there but as expected she came back to me and said ‘I can’t find the dates, I can only see some information about entry fees’ and I responded to her saying ‘It is there on this webpage. Simply scroll down’
Rude, I know. It would have probably made her feel foolish, but I don’t hold people’s hands if they look properly for things, rather than claim something isn’t where I said it would be, life would be so much more peaceful for me.
Without knowing it, people get indirectly insulted by you, when you throw shade and they never see it coming. It's sometimes the only way to talk to incompetent people in the workplace.
Today we’re here to help you find ways to talk in corporate lingo and throw shade at your incompetent colleagues. Here are a few common scenarios you might have encountered at work, and how you can throw shade at these kinds of people who exist in any job you’re in, regardless of the industry.
Is someone not responding to your emails or calls and do you urgently need something from them?
We’ve been there. Here’s what you say.
In the interest of time, please can you urgently get back to me about [state your request]. I have tried multiple times to get ahold of you, and I would appreciate a response. If you are not the right person to assist me with this, please point me in the direction of someone else who can help.
This one might seem quite harsh, but the reason why it's important to be firm is because you need something from someone and they need to be doing their job in helping you. It's always good to add a little extra something to it, by marking the email as ‘Highly important’ on Outlook or adding the word ‘ - Urgent’ or ‘ - Important’ to the subject line so it reads something like
‘Request for quote - Urgent’
Most people are more likely to open an email marked ‘urgent’. The reason why this one throws shade at the person is because of that last line, because you’re indirectly suggesting that the person you know very well is the right person to speak with, isn’t doing their job and you’d rather speak to someone who will do their job and respond to you. Ouch. But effective.
Is someone scheduling meetings that are a waste of your time?
Simply email them saying ‘Unfortunately, I will be unable to attend this meeting, but I’d be happy to review the minutes of the meeting afterward and offer my contributions.’ You’re not saying to them that you’re too busy for it, all you’re saying is you will contribute, you just don't need to sit through a pointless meeting. I myself am a firm believer in avoiding unnecessary meetings when things would be best discussed over an email.
Is someone asking you to do things that aren’t your job?
You’ll often face situations where someone asks you to do work they can easily do themselves, but the task is being dumped on you for whatever reason.
Here’s what you tell them:
‘I’d be happy to prioritize this after I have completed my assigned responsibilities, however, if this is a time-short task I suggest you look for alternative solutions to accomplish it.
By doing this, you’re telling them that this isn’t your responsibility but if it's so important, then they need to figure out a way to do it themself. In other words, “it's a you problem”
Is someone asking you for the material you already shared?
It's one of the most irritating things when you send emails to someone with proper instructions, only for them to ignore everything and then call you later asking you what to do.
Or have you ever shared an attachment with someone or responded to their question but they completely miss it and then tell you you didn't send them anything? Email is pretty much like 99% effective, as in if you send an email to someone, then unless they have A) Got a full inbox B) Have server issues or C) Marked you as ‘spam’ then 9 times out of 10 someone will receive an email you send them, so if they’re saying they haven’t received something, they’re incorrect and need to be paying more attention, rather than annoying you.
This one is simple, just download your email where you already shared the material with them, and send it as an attachment to your current email, saying Please refer to the previous email sent on [insert date] where I have provided the information you have requested.
This one is quite a good way to throw shade because you’re proving to them that they don’t pay attention to your emails and it's quite embarrassing for them. An alternative way to go about this is to copy-paste what you sent them before and say, “This has already been sent to you last [insert period i.e. last week/month] but re-attaching it once again for your reference.
Lastly, is someone at work being rude to you for whatever reason?
You often can’t straight up say ‘Don’t speak to me like that', because this isn’t a friend you’re talking to.
Simply say to them, ‘Please adjust your tone if you would like me to assist you with your request, to ensure professionalism in our communications’.
And there you go. You’ve rubbed people at work the wrong way. You’ve succeeded in being passive-aggressive this week. You’re welcome. And to celebrate the joys of work life, here are a few email shade memes for the rest of us passive-aggressive savage peeps to enjoy.
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