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Singleness: Is it merely a label that you change on Facebook or the feeling of showing up to your friend's wedding alone? Is it the feeling of envy when you see couples all around you or the feeling of uncertainty because they're in established “official” Relationships while you toe the line? Regardless of where you find yourself on that spectrum singleness manifests itself in different ways. Let’s talk about some common phases of singleness and what the journey to true happiness looks like...hint: it is not a knight in shining armour.
Situationships...The Bane Of My Existence
Whether you're stuck in a never-ending situation or debating about breaking free, we can all agree that situationships can get messy fast. They can involve mixed messages, blurred lines, and feelings that go up and down which is a lot to deal with when you're not even in a committed exclusive relationship. It’s okay to experience these undefined relationships while you’re still figuring out your wants, and boundaries and getting ready to settle down. It's important to fearlessly respect yourself and have the courage to say enough is enough and walk away from something that doesn't honor your worth. So keep your head up, set those boundaries like a boss and remember that you deserve nothing less than someone who sees your worth.
Just like temporary tattoos, situations are short-lived. They may seem attractive initially, but they’re not intended to be permanent. If you’re constantly dealing with uncertainty and a lack of commitment, then it’s a good idea to end the “relationship” and look for something fulfilling.
If you find yourself stuck in that weird limbo where you're not quite dating but are more than just friends, and you find yourself sitting duck in that same spot wanting more for months then maybe it's time to ask yourself if that person is worth the compromise. Sometimes a simple conversation about wants and desires can be an easy fix but sometimes tough decisions like “breaking up” and moving on need to be made. After all, you're worth more than just being someone's almost.
Dry Spell? The Singleness Vortex
Do not allow society’s stigma to convince you that being alone for a long time makes you undeserving of affection. In reality, being unattached offers a valuable chance for personal development, self-exploration, and embracing your independence without feeling shame.
Sure, it might feel like everyone else is pairing up faster than you can say “Netflix and chill,” but comparison is the thief of joy.
Your journey is uniquely yours, and there’s no right or wrong timeline for finding love. So, embrace your single status with pride, knowing that the right person will come along!
Instead of viewing your singleness as a deficiency, see it as an opportunity to thrive and grow. Remember that trip to France you wanted to go on? The city of love that you wanted to visit with your love, DIY it and make it a little solo trip or even a trip with friends. Spend this time nurturing and growing your existing relationships and hobbies. You never know you might even have a little meet-cute during your queen era.
Don't let fear of being in a singleness dry spell hold you back from enjoying your singleness, remember singleness is also a gift.
Does Being Single Equal Being Intimidating?
Now, let’s address the elephant in the room, does being ‘single and joyful’ or happy in your singleness make you intimidating? Not! Confidence is key, whether you’re flying solo or mingling with the masses. When you exude self-assurance and authenticity, it’s like casting a spell of magnetic attraction that draws others to you like moths to a flame.
But here’s the kicker, intimidation is often just a smokescreen for insecurity. If someone feels intimidated by your confidence, it’s a reflection of their doubts and fears, not a flaw on your part. So, instead of dimming your light to make others feel more comfortable, shine even brighter and inspire them to embrace their inner glow.
Bottom Line? Love Yourself
In the grand schemes of life, singleness is merely a tiny thread amongst the many weaves of relationships, experiences, and adventures still to come. So whether you’re navigating through adulthood with a situationship that you wished could be more, or overthinking and obsessing over the fact that you’ve been single for so long, take comfort in the temporality of things.
In that case, a simple reminder to tie it all together would be to embrace all parts of yourself with unapologetic confidence and always remember that you are worthy, you are enough, and you deserve love in all its forms.
If you find yourself stuck in your decision-making, the one place to turn to isn't your best friend (although some may say that's debatable) or your family, it's the word of God. Psalms 139:14 says I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Trust in the Lord and his plan for you. Remind yourself of these truths, hold your head up high, and treat yourself like the precious being you are.
In the meantime, keep shining, keep smiling, and keep strutting through life with your head held high. Remember that you're the salt and light of the world and that truth must be reflected in your behavior, interactions and relationships. You're a force to be reckoned with, and don’t you ever forget it.
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