Top 3 complaints about men and women in the dating world
You read that right, these boys ain’t it. That was a censored reference to the song by SAYCAT. But here’s an unpopular opinion: girls ain’t “it” either.
Women like to cry and moan about how ‘men act like boys’, “these boys don’t text back”, “these guys be playing us like ping pong”, and whatnot and I’m so with them on that. Dating these days is so difficult. But dating women is no walk in the park either. Not even a little.
To launch our first article in the newest ‘Relationships’ column, I’ve spoken to a few friends and figured I’d talk about the top 3 complaints people have when it comes to modern dating, from one severely single person navigating a sea of low-quality fish. So here we go:
MEN
They’re trash. End of.
Ladies, you’ve spoken and we heard you. Here are the top 3 complaints from our fellow queens about men when it comes to dating:
1. Self-centeredness: I went on a date recently, where a guy talked mostly about himself and his job (which I could care less about because he worked in tech) most of the time, and when he finally did ask me a question about myself, he ended up interrupting me and kept steering the conversation towards himself. Like NO. Major red flag. Men these days tend to be extremely self-centered, and they tend to believe that they know how to make a woman happy. They think that bulging biceps and six-packs will cut it, but personality goes out the window. And sadly, most of the men these days are more in love with themselves than the women they’re with, so they miss out on really getting to know someone great because they’re so focused on themselves and what they want to talk about.
We all can be a little self-centered sometimes, but when you’re on a date, you need to make the woman feel like she’s the center, rather than rattling on about yourself.
2. Words don’t matter: This is a BIG one. These days, a man’s word is worth nothing. Women these days often find themselves hypnotized by men who feed them exactly what they want to hear. “You’re so perfect”, “I can’t wait to have kids with you”, “I want to meet your parents”, “I love you”. I recently fell for the “Meet the parents” line and thought to myself, ‘This guy must be really serious about me, if he’s talking about meeting the parents so early on in the relationship’ but it turned out to be just a line. Once the chase was over and the chic was caught, the guy was out the door so fast.
Guys will literally say I love you like it’s nothing and pledge their souls to women just to get something out of them. And women, naturally, find it hard to trust anything a man says because of it. If you’re a man and you’re reading this, please…start being honest with the women you date, don’t just say what we want to hear.
3. The GAMES: I know it isn’t news that men are players, but over the years men are getting progressively better and better at charming the pants off of women while having 5 other wives on standby.
Men will show up, pursue you in very obvious ways, make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, and then don’t text you back for days, which drives women crazy. They know what they’re doing, and they do it anyway. Men will come to you, chase you, make you feel desired, and then play you like a game of tennis.
Gentlemen, take notes, authenticity is sexy. Please use it.
WOMEN
Females are the queens of creating emotional damage, so this list should be a fun one to dive into.
To make sure I have all the right insight, I’ve asked a few of my guy friends this question and in seeing what the internet has to say as well, I've begun to see some common themes, so here you go. If you feel attacked by me calling you out on your toxic behavior…you should.
1. The MIND games: I know they say that men are the worst, but sometimes I think women are also the worst. Women have this annoying inability to be straight-up with people. They can’t just say what's on their mind, they exercise unnecessary passive-aggression in relationships which does more to hurt the relationship than help it. And they’ll hold something against you for months until you had no idea that the one time when you didn’t say good morning to them was detrimental to your relationship.
Men play games with your heart, but women play games with your mind.
As a woman, I struggle to say what’s on my mind as well, but I don’t expect men to read my mind and you shouldn’t either. If you’re not ok, say so, make things simple and spell it out for them sometimes. You can't get mad at something your partner did and expect them to know what hurt you if you never tell them. Sorry to say.
2. Lack of consistency: Say what you will about men, but at least they can be predictable to a certain extent. They’re usually quite easy to read. Even if a guy is being hot and cold, as a girl, you might ask the question ‘Does he/doesn’t he?’ but you just know he’s not that into you. Because if a guy is really into you, he’ll make the effort.
But for girls, even if they’re completely crazy about you, they may be hot and cold. They might intentionally take hours to text back and pretend they’re not interested. Or they may be vibing with you over text one day and the next, they’re ghosting you.
Men have it really hard in dating. They may be talking to a girl nonstop for days and yet, the moment they ask her out, there’s no response. These are actual stories I’ve heard from men. Women play around, too. And they do it better than men sometimes. It’s the most annoying thing for men who are actually putting in the effort to court a girl.
3. Jealousy…it’s not a good color on you: The title says it all. Most women tend to get controlling when they feel jealous. They lack trust in their partner. While a certain level of jealousy or insecurity is common and understandable (since many of us tend to bring in our own fears, insecurities, and baggage from past relationships) trust and freedom are key in relationships. Men find it incredibly annoying when they're with someone that gets possessive. Also when women get jealous of their man’s female friends, I've seen this scenario so many times…gosh women, let the man breathe. Let him have his freedom. If he hasn't given you a reason to doubt him, try not to worry so much about his friendships with the opposite sex.
Don’t be texting him constantly when he’s out with friends. Don’t pretend you’re not jealous and then obsess over it later. If you’re uncomfortable with a female friend, say so, but realize that you don’t control him. Let him have his life, his friends, and his freedom. Choose to trust the person you’re with. Not all men are cheaters.
Dear women, grow up and speak what’s on your mind. Don’t throw teenage fits and be clingy, expecting men to belong to you. They don't. Be cool, sis.
So there you have it, top 3 complaints (and things to avoid) in dating. Let’s do better.
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