Some of us are really just out here making lists, planning weddings, having babies and making resolutions for an amazing 2023. Some of us have so many things to look forward to this year. Some of us will be making big career moves, getting promoted and expanding their goals, but for some of us, and in fact for many of us…goal-setting is the least of our concerns.
Whether you’ve started off this year with an illness, a break-up, a loss, a termination, or whatever it is, the fact is many of us are not starting off well. There may be a tendency to say “2023 is not my year” or “So far, 2023 sucks” and we get that. It’s okay to admit that things aren’t all rosy, it’s okay to give up your resolutions after one week even though you swore this time it would be different.
Maybe you hoped this year would be ‘your year’ but now it's looking like everyone else’s year but your own. The trouble is, that disappointment might be so huge in your life that you question and fear what the rest of the year is going to look like, it isn’t even the end of January and you may already feel like you’re gasping for air desperate for change.
Acknowledge your suffering, but don’t allow yourself the self-pity The reality that trials come sometimes very unexpectedly is too real. For many of us, we wanted this year to be different but it has started off with a lot of mess and pain. Peter explains this reality, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you” (1 Peter 4:12)
Suffering is an inevitable part of life and disappointment happens all the time, so admit to yourself and to others that you’re not starting off the year well but don’t stay in that place of self-pity. That in itself is prideful.
As a Desiring God article writer very eloquently says “The problem of self-pity is a problem of sight. Self-pitying people have not set the Lord before themselves as he really is — glorious, kind, sovereign, and just. They mainly have set themselves and their circumstances in their field of vision. Rather than crying out to God in our big and small moments of distress, self-pity would have us whimper in the misery of our own hearts.”
Self-pity says to ourselves and to God “I deserve better” when we really deserve nothing. It was only God’s unfathomable kindness that allowed us eternal belonging, prosperity and life but as human beings, created by a sovereign maker we have no right to say what it is we do and don’t deserve.
Proclaim victory over your circumstances
Too often, Christians pray that God would move them out of difficult circumstances, but I want to challenge you - do you have enough faith to speak about a miracle like it’s already been done? Speak victory of your financial circumstances, speak healing over your body pains, speak promises over your single life. If you can have faith for the things you’re believing in God for - even when you don’t see the results, I believe that God will honor your faith. It takes a lot for someone to say “I am healed” rather than “Please heal me” but my challenge to you this year is, will you still have bold faith even when there seems to be no answer to prayer?
Press on in fervent prayer - even when prayer borders on desperation
There’s a story in the Bible about this woman called Hannah who was married, and in those times a man would take more than one wife because traditions allowed it. Hannah’s husband loved her very much, but she had trouble conceiving a child, however her husband’s other wife seemed to have no problem popping out babies like there was no tomorrow. And so Hannah became desperate. She spent hours praying, begging, and pleading with God for a child. And finally, after years and years of prayer, she got her miracle child - and he was abundantly blessed and chosen by God.
If you’re going through an excruciatingly painful time: pray, fast, and be desperate for a change. Beg and plead with God if you have to. Ask him to have mercy upon you and your suffering, it’s okay to be desperate sometimes. God has rewarded that desperation with provision.
“God is a God of kindness, not of sadism”
Allow yourself to be struck down, but not destroyed
They often say that “when it rains, it pours” a phrase meant to describe the relentless hardship we often face. For some of us, this year has started off with one trial, which has then springboarded a series of other trials. Often when one bad thing happens, and you feel knocked over, the enemy comes to hold you down even more. At those times, it can be easy to question God saying ‘why aren’t you hearing me? Why aren’t you saving me?’ or the infamous cry ‘Why have you forsaken me?’ But as children made by God, designed for a purpose and meant for greatness, Him leaving you is impossible. God is a God of kindness, not of sadism.
It’s normal and even encouraged to feel disappointment, sadness, and anger at times. It’s okay to weep over those broken hopes and dreams for this year but it is also possible to have joy in the midst of suffering, like how James says “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds” (James 1:2) suffering produces perseverance, and perseverance produces faith, and if your faith is at the top of it’s game, you can believe God for anything. You can walk the walk of tribulations and suffering, and not grow weary or disheartened, but still take joy in the goodness of God. Remember how God has blessed you in the past, remember all the good things and don’t harp on the bad stuff, and then look forward to a future when you can use your pain as a testimony of God’s goodness. Don’t allow suffering to destroy you, or take you away from God’s plans. It is possible to have joy in the midst of suffering. But it isn’t possible if you rely on your own strength for it. You need God’s Holy Spirit to strengthen you and give you that joy you’re searching for.
“3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”
Romans 5:3-5
Remember that suffering on this earth is temporary
For all your hardship, for all your loss, for all your tragedy, and for all your brokenness - remember the cross. Remember that because of that cross you will be reunited with God in a kingdom where no tears will be shed, no heart can be broken, and no pain will exist. You have been promised an eternity in heaven, so don’t allow your earthly sufferings to swallow you. And if you’re reading this article but don’t know Christ this could be your moment to take part in this eternity. It only takes belief, if you repent of your old ways and believe in Christ we have been promised eternal salvation, which means that we are already victorious over any trial we’re facing because we’ve been given the biggest gift of all time - God’s son Jesus who was the ultimate sacrifice; someone that became like the lamb to a slaughter only so that we could experience the fullness of the kingdom of God forever.
Your year may not have started well, your 2022 may not have ended well, or you yourself may not be doing so well. But there are so many out there who get it and so many who can relate, find those people that you can vent and complain to, and then find your way back to pressing on in faith for God to work. Maybe, just maybe, 2023 will be your year but God is looking at how you worship him in spite of the pain. At the end of the day, what’s more important is not that you start things well, but that you finish well.
“13 but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.”
Matthew 24:13
“12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”
James 1:12
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