Would Jesus want you to be a bridezilla?

It’s 2025. Finally my wedding year. After nearly 28 years of (impatiently) waiting for it to be my turn, it finally is. In just 4 months I become a Mrs. And if you’re reading this as an engaged person, trying not to teeter on the edge of madness as wedding planning stress takes over..this article is for you.

How a control freak relinquished control

I am always the type of person that likes to have everything planned out in my life, from where I’ll live to where my money will come from and everything in between. I don’t just like to have a 1 month plan, I like to have a plan for the next 6 months, I always like to know exactly where I’m going and yet God in his humorous way has launched me into a whirlwind of things outside my control, like planning a destination wedding in a country where I couldn’t be on the ground to get things done. Suddenly, I found that the control freak needed to sit back, be patient, and let God do His thing, and when I let go of control God surprised me by letting things supernaturally work out even better than what I was planning for.

How to NOT turn into a bridezilla

As I write this, I myself am struck with the emotions and the reality of being a young wife. You dream about this moment your whole life but when it finally comes to the time, you have to deal with the reality that your entire life is about to change. But before you can take a minute to process that, you are buried under spreadsheets, multiple dress fittings, budgets, annoying and entitled relatives, cake tastings, and everyone else’s demands.

Even though I am someone who had tried to be extra cautious about turning into a bridezilla, I have already unintentionally had my bridezilla moments where I expected royal treatment from those around me and then had to be humbled into the cold hard truth - just because you’re getting married, doesn’t mean the world revolves around you..shocking, right?

So here are my top tips as a bride who’s working two jobs, one side hustle, running a church ministry, having time for herself, her cat, moving houses and maintaining a (somewhat) social life…enjoy.

1- Try to enjoy the process of wedding planning - Remember that aside from all the little details you are putting your heart into, you’re planning a future with the man of your dreams. There may be moments where you feel like you’re not enjoying planning your wedding, I have certainly had those moments, despite being someone who was always super excited to plan her big day … but even then try to breathe and take it one step at a time.

2- Delegate when you can - If you’re like me; a perfectionist, you may find delegation hard. What if someone does something wrong? What if someone delays a task that you consider a top priority?

I have learned the hard way that your wedding (unfortunately) will never be as important to others as it is to you and your fiancé. People may genuinely want to help, but can only do so on their own terms and when it suits them. They may not have the luxury of dropping everything to help you with your wedding, even if they want to. If you want something done immediately, do it yourself, otherwise if you’re willing to delegate and wait you may find that it takes the pressure off you slightly.

Let’s be honest though, brides do 90% of the work for the wedding, but it's okay to delegate..delegate to your fiancé, delegate to your bridesmaids and family members and don’t overload yourself too much. My lack of delegation has already led to sleepless nights and a couple of recurring nightmares that I’d forget about my wedding dress on the DAY of my wedding, so don’t learn from my example…

3 - Be ready for the unexpected - Hardly ever do I hear from couples saying their wedding day was perfect and everything went according to plan. Some decorator would’ve built the arch in the wrong location, somebody would’ve played the wrong soundtrack at the wrong moment, somebody would’ve run away with the wedding cake..Yes, this stuff actually happens, I didn’t make it up.

Have grace for yourself and be ready to face things, laugh about it and move on. At the end of the day, the wedding is less about the centerpieces and seating arrangements, and more about the couple standing on the altar saying ‘I do’ forever.

As a bride-to-be who’s just months away from her wedding, I see now why even the most calm brides turn into bridezillas. It's the one day we want everything to go perfectly, but just because it would be totally natural to have a bridezilla moment, we need to think - just because it's normal, does it mean it’s Christlike? Would Christ want us to go berserk and flip tables at vendors for sending the wrong color centerpieces? (I mean, he did flip tables himself..but that was righteous anger, sadly this isn’t) the very point of Jesus walking this earth as a man showed us that we can be in this world, but not of it. We can experience all the worldly stresses and still rise above and have humility in spite of everything.

I’m reminded of this verse from Romans 12:2 “2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Being a bridezilla is normal and common but we are not called to be ‘common’. We’re allowed to feel stressed and anxious but we’re not allowed to erupt in a temper and yell at people (even when we feel they truly deserve it). To be a Christian is to walk the path less travelled. So whether you’re a bride who has everything figured out, or if you’re a bride who, like me, wants to scream into a pillow everytime a wedding expense comes up, take the narrow path and ask God for peace and enjoyment of this season. Because in the blink of an eye, it’ll be over and you don’t want to look back having rubbed people the wrong way and lost friendships during your bridezilla era.

Jesus expects higher standards from us, he expects us to be brides that love and not brides that hurt others. Let’s navigate our season with grace.